Predicting Good Things

A World Cup prediction game and a chance to be our football writer… oh, how we spoil you.

Sign-in to Fingertips.net’s World Cup prediction pool – code: hobspays

World Cup year is exciting isn’t it? The fantastic Nike adverts, the last minute injuries to German captains, and the undermining of England’s chances by the friendly-fire of the British media. However, an unavoidable and tedious aspect is the need for those employed by Heat magazine to feel the need to start chucking in their two cents regarding the perils of the Lampard/Gerrard ‘axis of evil’ in centre-midfield.

Luckingly, just in the nick of time, Sport Guru have added the World Cup to their already fiendishly addictive range of prediction games, and we can now separate the knowledgeable from the bandwagon jumpers. We at Fingertips have had our working schedule seriously threatened all year by the need to make our predictions for the Guinness Premiership, the World Twenty20, and the Super 14 competition. The World Cup will surely tip us over the edge into doing very little that’s actually work related.

Adding to the excitement, we’ve also decided to use the competition to find our new football writer for next season. The winner, or whoever finishes second to a very over-confident Fingertips Editor, will have the opportunity to have their weekly column published on Fingertips for the duration of the next domestic football season. If you’re a budding Martin Samuel, Henry Winter or Oliver Holt, better get yourself over to SportGuru and sign-up to our ‘Fingertips.net’ pool using the pool code ‘hobspays’.

So, if you know your Italian full-backs from your unused Honduran substitutes, it’s time to prove it. Best of luck to everyone, if you’re not able to follow that incredibly simple set of instructions then Fingertips staff are ready to help you at info@fingertips.net, just remember to include the word ‘SportGuru’ in your subject bar.

What are those?

Fingertips’ Seb Stafford-Bloor has a brief moan about the about the newly unveiled Olympic mascots…

Many adjectives have been banded about in reaction to yesterday’s unveiling of the Olympic mascots for 2012, most of them unflattering, a considerable number explicit, but probably the most appropriate is ‘British’. So afraid has the country become of offending or alienating any member of its eclectic cast, that any mainstream output has to be so unobjectionable and bland that it loses all meaning. The Olympic mascots are the graphical equivalent of a BBC One comedy.

It is well documented of course, albeit in a retrospective defensive way, that ‘Wenlock’ and ‘Mandeville’ have been created with children and families in mind, as essentially all mascots are. However, should cuddly versions of the two start appearing in little Timmy or Tommy’s bed, the results could potentially be therapy inducing. They’re flatly terrifying. ‘Wenlock’ in particular, the gold pointy one with one eye, looks like something Odysseus might have encountered on his return from Troy.

Naturally, a good mascot does not a successful Olympics make, but add together the hastily produced vignette during the Beijing closing ceremony and the mystifyingly poor London 2012 logo, and this country’s Olympic effort already has a perfect strike rate for failure. The former was particularly heinous, the product surely of a production brainstorm that ran dry of ideas – ‘’Oh, to hell with it – let’s just use Beckham again and put him on a London bus’. It is said that if you were listening carefully after that particular moment, you could hear the groan of the global audience – “Well, that’s going to be **** isn’t it.”

The key ingredients of any spectacle tend to involve elements that are different to the norm, bold decisions and invention. Sadly for Britain, such things are our greatest enemy. Beyond the predictable and mundane, anything else is liable to offend. With no gender, no specific personality, and no obvious racial or religious affiliation, Wenlock and Mandeville are ironically perfect. That the bright light atop of both of their heads ‘sort of looks like a taxi light, which is obviously synonymous with London’ must surely be an oversight – otherwise definitely offensive to those unable to frequently use taxis, and a cruel reminder of their misfortune. A big, bold outraged Daily Mail headline in waiting – ‘MASCOT IN SICK POOR JIBE’.

In time, there will almost certainly be a failure of far greater magnitude that eclipses these early shortcomings – possibly Bob Crow organising an RMT strike at some point – but for now we can look forward to explanations of obscure Olympic events with our new utterly meaningless friends. Close your eyes, and you can already picture an over-tanned Gary Lineker introducing ‘a quick explanation of the Discus, with a little help from Wenlock and Mandeville.’

Can’t wait.

FA Cup Semi-Final Preview

The sun is out and Wembley awaits. Fingertips’ Seb Stafford-Bloor looks forward to this weekend’s FA Cup semi-finals.

Aston Villa vs Chelsea – Saturday

Drawing Chelsea was always going to be the short straw, and most will quite rightly not be able to see past Carlo Ancelotti’s men booking a return to Wembley next month. Other than the scoreline, the most negative aspect of Villa’s 7-1 humbling at Stamford Bridge was the apparent lack of pride – a transparent statement that the squad feel that maybe enough has already been achieved this season. That a manager with the motivational qualities of Martin O’Neill seems unable to lift the foggy malaise from over Villa Park is cause for huge concern, as much as Chelsea’s robotically consistent execution in domestic cup competitions.

Don’t expect any tactical surprises to be thrown into the contest on Saturday, Villa are able to play in only one way – and the dangers of relying on counter-attacking football against Chelsea are obvious. For all the flair and pace of Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor, Stylian Petrov is the key to everything that Villa do well, or did well before March. As good a player as the Bulgarian is, it’s very hard to see him being able to gain a foothold in a midfield battle against the pedigree Chelsea have around the centre circle. No Petrov, no midfield temperament. It’s worth remembering also that Villa will line up with the same shape that was so unsuccessful for Manchester United last weekend – a system that caused Chelsea very few problems. Expect Alex to start alongside John Terry, the Brazilian’s physique will allow the West Londoners to nullify the threat of John Carew. No such options are available for Martin O’Neill, Villa simply do not have the personnel to cope with the guile and pace of Anelka ,nor the strength and power of Didier Drogba. James Collins and Richard Dunne have formed an impressive partnership in their first season together – but neither have the experience to deal with a football mentality as fluid as Chelsea’s. Teams that throw the ball into the box against them have been repelled with ease all season, but the intricacy afforded by the guile of Lampard, Malouda and Joe Cole will lead to a torrid afternoon.

Easy call here, Chelsea to ease through by two or three.

Tottenham Hotspur vs Portsmouth – Sunday

The neutrals will doubtless want to see the struggling Pompey get one over on Harry Redknapp, but away from Fratton Park Portsmouth are the definition of flimsy. Even with injuries the current injury crisis in the Tottenham camp, the players available to Redknapp are more than capable of progressing against a team that seems to exist on team spirit alone. Avram Grant deserves enormous credit for making his team competitive throughout the season, but one cant help but fear for them come Sunday.

Ironically, the enforced absence of Tottenham loanee Jamie O’Hara will be the biggest obstacle for Grant to overcome. O’Hara’s blend of disruptiveness and discipline would have been useful in the quest to shackle Luka Modric, and his set-piece delivery could well of been Portsmouth’s most potent weapon. As it is, Modric will probably enjoy the freedom of Wembley to tease and torment the Pompey back line.
Everywhere you look on the field, Tottenham dominate the individual match-ups, and it would be brave – and wrong – to suggest that Pompey can withstand the sum of Spurs’ attacking parts for the whole game. A newly fit Jermain Defoe, the currently unplayable Gareth Bale, and the aforementioned Modric will most probably dominate the game from start to finish. Neutrals choice they may be, but success for Portsmouth at Wembley would simply be to keep the score down.

Tottenham by at least 3.

Fingertips.net – The News You Choose

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

Fingertips’ Seb Stafford-Bloor on England’s bleak future under Martin Johnson…

By the time Tommy Bowe had gathered Jonathan Sexton’s well measured chip to cross the England line, critics were already sharpening their pencils in anticipation of Sunday morning’s headlines. This after all, was before ten minutes of Satuday’s encounter with Ireland had elapsed. Jonny Wilkinson’s scuffed kick-off aside, England had controlled possession well, recycled the ball fairly efficiently, and worked the ball right and left in a manner that was at least promising. With essentially their first touch of the ball, Ireland exploited offensive numbers down England’s left, and the Sexton and Bowe combination punished the home side with ruthless precision.

Commentators and columnists have laboured the point about England’s kicking away of possession, about Jonny Wilkinson’s inclusion, and about Martin Johnson’s credentials as Head Coach. But the problem is more general, and was highlighted so glaringly in that opening ten minutes at Twickenham. Bowe’s try, incisive and impressive as it was, was simply the product of an unexpected turn over – so little to criticise England for other than the obvious. The problems occur when England have the ball, and the lack of ambition they show with it. The mentality that runs through the team seems to be that by running through enough phases of possession they will eventually find themselves within striking distance of the scoreboard. Arguably, battering through opposition is yesterday’s tactic in International Rugby – defenders are too big, too athletic, and too well drilled for one dimensional teams to be able make consistent line breaks while also keeping hold of possession.

Critics of Woodward-era England, and there were plenty of them – even if they spoke with an Antipodean accent – used to cite an over reliance on Jonny Wilkinson as the barrier between the team and greatness. In hindsight, this was more a comment on the way that England team played rather than what they were capable of. The old midfield of Mike Tindall and Will Greenwood offered all that England currently don’t possess. – a dynamic, strong runner that was capable of breaking the gain line, and a centre partner that had the guile to exploit any gaps that existed in the opposition. Seven years on from the Sydney Telstra Stadium, England shift the ball from the breakdown with hope rather than any expectation. In terms of creativity, the best England can hope for is a missed pass – another relic from the amateur days – and as effective as a spoon in place of a tin opener. A new age of quick, drifting defences has rendered Following the sterile win against Italy, Johnson confirmed that results would always be held in higher esteem than performances – a mystifying comment considering that the two are hardly mutually exclusive. Regardless, if he is still convinced that grinding wins is actually possible, then why does Johnson pick the team that he does? From nine through to fifteen, there isn’t a single player that can break a tackle – barring Mark Cueto. If you intend to play the game in an attritional, powerful way, then it would surely follow logic to build a team capable of doing that, and not stacking the back line with flair players and restricting their creative tendencies.

Another traditional English strength that has turned into a weakness, is the back row. When England did look promising on Saturday, promising attacking ball was too often snaffled by Heaslip, Wallace, or Ferris. Lewis Moody is unquestionably an asset within the English team, his reputation for a lack of self-preservation undermining his technical proficiency in the tackle and energy around the break-down. Nick Easter, it has to be said, feels like a step backwards. Good feet, good hands, and good set of skills, but sadly he lacks excellence in any key area – denying him status amongst bona fide international Number 8s. Scotland aside, Easter would not win a place in any of the other Six Nations’ sides – a true sign of the times. Easter’s deficiencies considered, they pale in comparison to those of James Haskell. On paper, Haskell has the attributes to be a monster within the game – a true dominant force. An awesome physique blended with exception athleticism around the field, he should be spoken of in the same company as McCall, DuSatoir, and Juan Smith – even Pierre Speiss. But he’s not. An appalling attitude, blended with an exaggerated sense of self-worth, and a profound confusion as to the rules of the breakdown, mean that he is too often a complete liability in an England shirt. Supporters of the Stade Francais monolith quote his regular selection in a premier European club side as a reason for patience, detractors point to the lack of effort Wasps made to keep him in the Premiership as a reason not to.

Throughout the team, there are too many players that are selected as a safe option – and Johnson’s team seems to be built on the premise of avoiding defeat. A case in point is Jonny Wilkinson. Wilkinson has been the best player of his generation, a superb goal-kicker and easily the best defensive fly half of the modern era – but he is no longer. His continued selection epitomises the lack of courage shown by the England management, especially given the form of Toby Flood. It cannot be stressed enough that Wilkinson was once peerless, but one has to believe that his inclusion relies more heavily on his personal relationship with Johnson than his form. Danny Cipriani’s exodus to Australia is the direct result of England not being willing to take any potential risks. Cipriani at his very best shares a lot of attributes with a young Wilkinson – creative, dynamic, excellent goal-kicker, and a true game-breaker. His continued exclusion even from the squad reinforces the belief that Johnson has no desire to build a team with any creative freedom, for which the young, soon to be Australia based, number 10 would be the poster child.

Without addressing the shortcomings within his selections, Martin Johnson will continue to face criticism for how his team plays. The mixture of personnel and tactical set-up is extremely underwhelming, and it’s hardly surprising that England continually run out of attacking invention before half-time. Without individual brilliance to rely on, and with such a negative approach to the game, England will surely continue to drift in the International wilderness under Johnson.

For all your Sports News that you choose…Fingertips.net

The Premier League Owl

With little in the way of Premier League action, the Owl focuses on general issues this week…. cynically, naturally.

The Owl appreciates that any mention of the Hillsborough disaster must always be made with the utmost care. However, despite the hurt that is understandably felt on Merseyside, the ‘Justice for the 96’ campaign cannot help but be undermined by the failure to view the Heysel disaster with equal gravitas. Where Hillsborough was a tragedy, Heysel was the result of mindless aggression – how is it that the club have been so audible for so many years on the former subject, yet disgustingly passive in relation to the former? That chant that is directed at Liverpool fans during the derby…yes, the one that we shouldn’t refer to…well, remorse might have gone a long way to silencing it. Hastily prepared supporter banners twenty years after an event do nothing… if the police erected a billboard declaring ‘friendship’ in Liverpool City Centre, would that be enough?

Was there every any doubt that the teams currently inhabiting the Champions League places would oppose a motion to introduce a play-off system to determine the fourth and final qualifier. Why not ask the richest 25% of the UK whether they will share their wealth with the remaining 75%?

Roman Pavlyuchenko’s attack on Harry Redknapp is built on shaky ground. The Russian has now moaned to the press more times than he’s scored for Spurs, which of course is an ironic devaluing of his basis for complaint.

Premier League footballers have little regard for either the value of money or the sanctity of a relationship. Everybody already knows this…. Let’s move on from reporting every indiscretion made by one of them. What does anybody expect from a tiny demographic that have lived in a sycophantic, overpaid world from the end of their childhood.

The Owl despairs at the amount of ‘ironic’ cheering that now occurs in every football ground in the country. Too much of a good thing is bad, too much of something tedious is extremely boring.

Emmanuel Adebayor being the highest paid player in the Premier League is the equivalent of paying more for a bus than a taxi. If ever there was a signing made simply to outline a club’s ability to throw money around it was Adebayor going to Eastlands.

For all your sports news and features, whatever sport your into….Fingertips.net.

Europa League preview

Much to the dislike of wives and girlfriends everywhere, European football returns this week…Fingertips’ Ian Shine looks at the clubs battling it out in the Europa League.

The Europa League plays second fiddle to the Champions League, of that there can be no doubt, but the last 32 of the former UEFA Cup has thrown up some tantalising ties.

Ajax vs Juventus is a meeting between two former giants of European football, while Fulham vs Shakhtar Donetsk sees the Premier League’s most reinvigorated side clash heads with the current UEFA Cup holders.

Liverpool’s trip to fellow Champions League dropouts Unirea Urziceni should interest many in England, if only for the chance to watch Rafa Benitez’s men humiliate themselves once more, while Atletico Madrid will be lifted by their win against Barcelona last weekend as they face the far from simple task of disposing of Galatasaray.

Benfica vs Hertha Berlin

Amongst the favourites for the competition are Benfica, who have undergone something of renaissance this season under new coach Jorge Jesus.

They face the Bundesliga’s bottom club Hertha Berlin on Thursday night and come into the tie having not lost for almost three months, but the good people at Planet Benfica aren’t taking a win for granted:
“The fact that we have never won in Germany shows that it won’t be easy. Yes, Hertha are bottom but this is a totally different competition and they will be looking for positive results to motivate them and their fans for the Bundesliga.”

Chelsea target Angel Di María has scored twice in both games Benfica have played in Germany recently (against Nürnberg and Hertha Berlin) and many hopes are pinned on him to perform again as Benfica look to push on in the tournament.

Domestic form

The fairly low standard of Portugal’s Liga Sagres has meant Benfica haven’t struggled for goals this year domestically.

I asked Planet Benfica if there’s a chance that the low level of their domestic league could dampen their chances of progressing in Europe, as they are rarely pushed to the peak of their game in Portugal, except against Porto, Braga and Sporting Lisbon.

“I don’t think the Liga Sagres affects our European form because most of our players already have that experience.”

“I think the Liga Sagres is underrated. The “big three” in Portugal can do, and have done, fairly well against top European sides. Yes, we mostly win our Liga Sagres games, but the opponents are always up for a dogfight, even though the result may not reflect that in the end.”

The favourites

Still, those residing on Planet Benfica are not surprised to see their side only fifth favourites for the Europa League: “We haven’t had much success in Europe, bar a quarter final appearance in the Champions League in 2006.

“I think Valencia, Liverpool and Juventus will be the teams to beat to win the Europa League.

“Other tough sides will be Werder, Ajax – who are having a great domestic season so far, and Roma and Fenerbahce. No one would want to go there.”

The bookies have Benfica at 16/1, Juventus at 14/1, Roma at 13/1), Valencia at 10/1 and Liverpool at 7/1 to scoop the gong in Hamburg on 12 May.

Everton 2 – 1 Sporting Lisbon

Everton and Sporting Lisbon played their game on Tuesday night and Sporting got a late penalty to give them hope in a season where nothing has gone right for them domestically. They’ve lost five of their last six games and are more interested in securing European football for next season through the league than doing well in Europe this season.

The Planet Benficans fully expect Sporting to be given the chance to concentrate on the league after their second leg against Everton: “I think Everton are capable of a draw in Lisbon if they play their cards right and if they forget the Benfica result they got in October (a 5-0 defeat).”

Atletico Madrid vs Galatasaray

Benfica’s old boss Quique Flores has got his new side Atletico Madrid into the last 32 and will face a familiar foe.
Galatasaray beat Benfica 2-0 last season when he was in charge, and most Benfica fans would like to see Flores reverse his fortunes on Thursday night.

“Not many Benfica fans are fond of Quique, but most will probably wish him luck at Atlético, seeing as they have Portuguese fans’ favourite Simão Sabrosa and ex-Benfica player Reyes. With a little luck we could be facing them in the latter stages.”

Good bets

Considering Benfica’s goal-hungry form (13 in six games in Europe and regular hauls of at least three in domestic games) and Hertha’s lack of goals in Europe (six in six games), a handicap bet on Benfica of -2 goals at 9/1 looks a tasty bet.

A handicap bet, as the name suggests, handicaps one team. In this case, it puts Benfica on -2 at the beginning of the game, so they need to win by more than two goals in order to win the handicap bet.
A handicap of -1 still offers quite good odds of 16/5.

Ruud Van Nistelrooy will go with his new club Hamburg to his former club PSV Eindhoven. The bookies seem to fancy PSV, but strikers going back to old clubs can often raise their game, and Ruud already has two goals in two games for Hamburg.

Throwing money on a 2-0 or 2-1 to Hamburg will get decent odds of 6/1 with William Hill.

Rubin Kazan’s strong home form makes them likely winners against the fairly useless on the road Hapoel Tel Aviv, although you’ll only get odds of1/2 on that. However, as Rubin tend to score early on, a wiser bet would be on them leading at the end of both the first and second half on more lucrative odds of 5/2.

For all your sport news and features, whatever your sport…Fingertips.net.

The Premier League Owl

The Premier League Owl returns, and now will almost certainly be shot next time he flies over Merseyside – home of overly-sensitive supporters, cheating club captains, and Europa League football.

Steven Gerrard’s reaction to Steven Pienaar’s challenge in injury time reaffirms the Owl’s belief that the Liverpool captain is one of the worst exponents of ‘simulation’ in England. If Gerrard wasn’t an English player, he would have been branded a cheat along time ago. Please cross-reference the incident with hurling himself to the floor against Atletico Madrid last year, and his comments made prior to the 2006 World Cup.

The Owl believes the current fashion for deriding Aston Villa as a negative team is extremely harsh. Neither Manchester United, Liverpool, or Manchester City left White Hart Lane without conceding to Tottenham, and given that their league position dictated that defeat would have been a disaster – Villa are to be applauded. That Martin O’Neill sets his team up to play counter-attacking football is an instance of a manager playing to the strengths that his team possesses – not an attempt to savagely disrupt ‘arsenalfootball’.

The length of Benni McCarthy’s contract at West Ham must surely be of concern to all those associated with the East End club. A temperamental, out-of-form, goal-shy 32 year-old being given more than a one year deal, does not suggest proper financial planning within the club. This is especially the case – and yes, this point has been made before – when new owners criticise a previous regime for cluttering a football club with expensive players that don’t play. Kieron Dyer?

Bolton were as bad on Saturday against Fulham as they had been at any point under Gary Megson. Why are football fans so hopelessly romantic and short sighted when it comes to ex-players? Not to score against a Fulham side so ravaged by injury is appalling – there’s nothing to suggest that their chances of escaping the drop are any greater under Owen Coyle.

The Owl smugly reminds you of his comments regarding Nani and his new ‘form’. Over exuberant, selfish, lacking a football brain… the only redeeming feature is his goal celebration – which ofcourse you never see.
Quick word association for you…. Midlands derby! Who cares? The Owl apologises profusely for not being able to qualify this, but there’s something so tedious about all of those games.

More hilarity from Merseyside, as the red half of the city now assume that 4th place and Champions League football is secure – until they’re beaten by Arsenal on Wednesday night ofcourse, and then overtaken by Manchester City and Tottenham again. On Monday they were a resurgent Liverpool, by Thursday morning they’ll be a club in crisis again.

Heurelho Gomes has amazingly become one of the best goalkeepers in the Premier League. The very same Gomes that chucked goals away against Villa, Fulham, and Liverpool last year, is now arguably Tottenham’s best player this season. Given the Lilywhite tradition of switching off defensively during games, the Brazilian stopper has as much to do with Spurs’ league position as Jermain Defoe’s goals do.

For all your football news and features, whoever you follow….Fingertips.net.

The Premier League Owl

After flying North for the weekend, the Owl returns…

The Owl would like to open with a quote this week…

“People don’t like to hear it but I’ll make no excuses for saying it, and I will never stop saying it because I truly believe it with the resources and capabilities that we have – and when, not if, we’re at Wembley having beaten Man United yet again!”
No need to name the source of these comments, but let’s just say: ‘Regretting that yet Garry Cook?’

To cut through the reams of opinion already offered on this subject, John Terry should be stripped of the England captaincy and the armband given to Wayne Rooney. Terry is a component that England can do without – aging, pace-less, and lacking in composure , whereas Rooney is peerless – England’s talisman, driving force, and natural leader.

From being such a promising young player, Gael Clichy now seems to be used and abused by every right winger in the league. Yes, Nani was much improved on Sunday – but his performance had a lot to do with the Arsenal left-back’s disintegration as a player.

The Owl remembers Scott Parker’s future being derailed by an overly inflated move to a free-spending title chasing team. Now meet Adam Johnson. Such is the immediacy of Roberto Mancini’s need for success, if Johnson fails to set the world alight within the remainder of the season he’ll be consigned to being a bit part player. The ex-Boro man is a good player, but Manchester City is not somewhere where talent is going to be nurtured. Deliver or be forgotten.

Manuel Almunia is not just inadequate as a shot-stopper, he completely undermines Arsenal’s title challenge. The Spaniard has never really looked like a goalkeeper – more the member of the team not good enough to play outfield.

The Owl watched Leeds vs Tottenham last night, and was impressed with the Spurs number 5 –who reminded him a little of a young David Bentley.

For all your sports news, whatever your sport…Fingertips.net.

Eurotrash and the Australian Open.

Fingertips’ Ian Shine explores the murky world of Eurosport’s Australian Open coverage…

I’m not one for sweeping generalisations, but I think it’s fair to say that Australians aren’t renowned for their razor sharp judgement. They drink Fosters, wear hats with corks on them and live in a country full of dangerous animals. Pretty daft on all fronts. This lack of discernment came to the world’s attention once more this week as the Australian Open, the year’s first tennis grand slam, got under way.

As the ball boys and girls tottered out wearing pink sweaters and matching pink dumbo-eared hats, you’d have been forgiven for thinking you’d ingested some kind of heliotropic drug. One ball boy apparently felt so humiliated wearing the clobber in public that he decided to wet himself in order to escape from view. The incident happened during a first round match between Donald Young and Cristophe Rochus, as Young explained to Tennis Fanhouse:

“A ball boy started peeing on himself. So that was really unfortunate.”

“I looked back and it was dripping on the court. He ran off. And when he ran off it left a trail on the court. Well, you can’t just keep playing a major tennis tournament with urine on the court. For one thing, it looks bad. But for another, the players could slip in it and get hurt.”

It took half an hour to remedy the spillage, but the ball boy at least escaped with some of his dignity still intact – even if his indiscretion will almost certainly lead to the necessity of counseling in later life.

Out of the frying pun into the fire

Eurosport is partial to punning at every punnable opportunity, yet it has really outdone itself with its coverage of the Australian Open.

First off is the absolutely abysmal “Justine Time”, in which Justine Henin is “tailed” in an attempt to give us an insight into her life at a grand slam. Given Henin’s status as one of the meekest characters on the tour, any revelatory and genuinely insightful details were always going to be at a premium. It’s a crying shame that Martina Hingis has retired.

The content is, as you’d imagine, fairly templated: Justine plays tennis; Justine wins; Justine comes to talk to Eurosport about her win; Justine goes to a hotel. Well done Eurosport.
After that we get “Game, Set and Mats”, in which Mats Wilander tries in vain to make viewers concentrate on that day’s tennis, rather than Annabel Croft’s increasingly skimpy outfits.

And some bad decisions by the players

Kim Clijsters might be regretting her tennis comeback just a little after it took Nadia Petrova 51 minutes to wipe her off the tournament’s roster with a 6-0 6-1 demolition in the third round.

As is his wont,Tommy Haas got fairly angry with himself in the latter stages of his third round clash with Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. Mental composure is 50% of the battle in professional tennis, and Haas’s lack of that means that he’ll be playing no further part in this year’s Australian Open.

And last of all, Elena Dementieva’s notorious ability for her serve to buckle at crucial moments saw her hit several unforced errors to twice toss away the advantage in a second set tie-break against Justine Henin and consequently go out in the second round.

For all your sport, whatever your sport…Fingertips.net.

New Columns on Fingertips this week…

Sarah Sole blogs on moving in with her boyfriend.

Mark Elliott on the resurgence of Journey.